I make the beats.

To publish my fanfiction.

Get ready.   It's coming.

That is all.

xo

                                  

I hope everyone has had a joyous Christmas!!

I am back from West Middle-of-Nowhere, NY where I spent Christmas with my sister and her family. It was very cozy. My sister and her husband heat their home with a wood stove. This makes the room with the stove in it very warm and the rest of the rooms cold. So we all huddled in the one room like the Pioneers. I wish I had had some socks to darn and a rocking chair to make the picture complete.

There was no snow, so Shane spent a lot of time jumping on his cousins’ trampoline in the bitter cold in his stocking feet. I really hope he didn’t get frostbite! 

We saw “I Am Legend.” Nobody told me there was gonna be these awful zombie-type creatures with big teeth in the movie. Whenever they came on I buried my face in my son’s shoulder and he patted me on the back and told me when I could open my eyes.  “You can look now, Mom, they’re gone.” 

Will Smith was excellent. Sometime when we weren’t looking, the “Fresh Prince” turned into an ACTOR.

I apologize for this “mass communication.”  I am feeling a bit overwhelmed in returning to Buzznetland. I promise to visit everyone and see what you’re up to, even if it takes me ‘til New Year’s!

luv & x’s

Honestly, you don’t really care whether I like gift bags or wrapping paper. But question # 10 inspires me to tell you about the Undisputed King of Bad Gift Giving Ever:  My Dad  (I love you, Dad.)

One gift sticks out in my mind from my childhood. It was a gift my dad gave to my mom. Christmas morning arrives. Dad presents Mom with a big garment-sized box. In it is an evening gown that looks sort of like this.

 
(Except he got it from Sears, not Christian Lacroix.)

What?! My mom usually dressed like Queen Elizabeth does when she walks her dogs.

And where on earth did he expect her to wear this? This is what they did every New Year’s Eve: A friend of theirs was a hunter. The game would be frozen during the year, and on New Year’s Eve the guy’s wife would make stew out of all of it. So there was pheasant  stew, deer stew, porcupine stew, etc. After they all had had their fill of wild animals, they would play hearts--and that's it.   Needless to say, the dress never saw the light of day.

Here’s a sampling of some other strange gifts given over the years by Dad.

1) giant purple vinyl rain poncho

2) yellow rubber gloves:  down where the fingernails would be was colored as if you had nailpolish on.

3) "Wee Squirt Boy": you filled it with water and when you pulled his pants down, it peed. This was given to our 3-year-old son. Parents were not amused.

4) artichoke-flavored liqueur: need I say more?

5) scary porcelain clown figurine: also given to our young son. Who gives a small child porcelain?

6) variety of frozen meats and fish: came with a set of knives so crappy, we threw them right in the garbage.

7) his latest kick is passing along to anyone in his path all the free crap he has gotten from casinos he patronizes. He donates hundred of dollars to their coffers at the slot machines and in return gets a 9” black and white tv.

Even though we have suggested he give Shane cash and Shane can pick something out, this guy is irrepressible!!

Please, please bring me some holiday cheer by telling me about some really bad gifts you have been given!  :D

 

 

I think everyone deserves one Grinch moment per season, so this is mine.

9. Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)

“Aw, but they’re so cute!” Not when they destroy my front lawn by digging 720 holes in it to build their chipmunk condos.

 

8. “Last Christmas” by Jimmy Eat World

And you thought I was a knee-jerk fan. This version is so wimpy you can’t believe it’s being performed by a rock band.

7.  That Song Where the Dogs Bark Out Jingle Bells

The first time you hear it it’s cute. The second time it’s a little annoying. By the third time you begin to understand Garfield’s blind hatred toward dogs.

6. "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses

Has anyone else noticed that this song has no melody?

 
5. “Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney

Can't even get past the cheesy synthesizer intro. Sounds like the chipmunks are back, but they got into the helium first.

4. “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” by Spike Jones

Every  time the singer has to say an “s” it comes out as a whistle...And there are a lot of “s”-es  in this song.

 

3. “Pokemon Christmas Medley”

A bunch of perfectly good Christmas songs ruined by making the lyrics about anime monsters and having the songs sung by the actress who plays “Ash.” 

 

2. “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”

You may disagree with me on Paul McCartney or the Waitresses, but I think we can all agree that a better use for all copies of this song would be a nice big bonfire.

 

1. “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)”  John Lennon and Yoko Ono

Nothing wrecks the holiday mood quicker than the strangled-cat song stylings of Yoko Ono.

 

And on that note, “MERRY CHRISTMAS!!”

 

These are actual quotes from my 9-yr.old son, Shane. Hope you like 'em!

Me: Did you know the Cobra Starship song, “3 Times a Lady” is a cover version?
Shane: Really? It’s so silly, I thought for sure Gabe wrote it!

Regarding Davey Havok: I like him. He’s weird.

Regarding “Crank That(Soulja Boy)”:  If you took an x-ray of your stomach, that’s what Soulja Boy looks like.  (obviously not a fan)

Shane: Is this song by that band “OK”?
Me: “OK”? never heard of them.
Shane: Oh, I meant “Yes.”

 

“I’m gonna ask Santa for a Gerard Way action figure. When you press a button he says, ‘I’m
not o-f*cking-kay.’”  
(he didn’t say the f-word. he bleeped himself.)

I'm sure there'll be more in '08. "Trust me."

 

Ok, this is so silly. I feel like I’m a kid again when I used to kiss my poster of John BonJovi. But 2 very good friends tagged me, so I’ll take the hint. Here’s my list of PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO KISS:

1. Davey Havok

No adjectives, just poetry...

2. Pete Wentz

Although I’ve always had a crush on Pete, the teeth do kind of scare me. It seems like he has extra teeth, maybe 38 or 40!

3. Ian Watkins

To me, he just smolders: the coal black hair, the big gray/green eyes, welsh accent, tattoos, slight overbite, great dancer.

4. Gabe Saporta

beautiful skin, yummy curly hair, those hips, friendly, funny, great guy

5. Luke Wilson

 I definitely have a weak spot for the overbite. He was dreamy in Bottle Rocket. if you like Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson and/or romantic comedies, you must see this movie.

6. Jared Leto

Imagine if you saw him walking down the street. You would probably stop dead in your tracks and gasp out loud at his beauty.

7. Jodie Foster

I always had a crush on her. I think it’s because I think she’s tough.

8. Jon Heder

Well? He IS a great dancer!  And then I could say I’ve kissed a Mormon.

(rocker4815, I promised you someone UN-conventional  :D)

I'm tagging: crash13, ounceofwentz, tryingtofindthewords, bizzarreland, mykindanormal, taker1, annieli, kitten76, alexalgebra, xosmartiesox, kittenofdeath--HAVE FUN!

Nothing original from me tonight, just news from our pal Pete.


                                         

According to an article by  MTV news’ James Montgomery,  Pete Wentz is being welcomed with open arms to the Simpson family holiday festivities. MTV news received an e-mail from Pete with an update.

Here is an excerpt from Mr. Montgomery’s article:

"I think Joe gets a really bad rap in the press. He's always been nothing but nice to me," Wentz wrote. "He even called me to let me know he expects me to show up for Xmas. So there's no truth to that [rumor.]"

Glad we got that cleared up! And now that we know that everything's good with his potential father-in-law, we figured that it'd be in everyone's best interest to hear just how Wentz plans on celebrating Christmas this year. As it turns out, he's planning a simple, low-key affair: just a tiny tree, some dog pee and, of course, plenty of "Transformers."

"This is the first year I got my own Christmas tree. It's a little guy and my dog keeps peeing on it, but it's mine. I got a bunch of tacky Transformers ornaments for it," he wrote. "Hopefully, I don't get a stocking full of coal. I feel like I should end up on the 'kinda nice' list this year. Good thing I know Patrick."

(photo credit: Jason Squires/Wire Image)

 

Dear Santa,

I have been a pretty good girl this year. Except for the fanfiction. Do you know what that is? Y’see, people write these stories—oh, never mind. Anyway, here is my wish list for this Christmas. Most of these wishes aren’t for me anyway:

1. I wish for a new house, equipment and guitars for Butch Walker.

2. I wish for Bob Bryar’s hand and arm to be healed permanently.

                                                                                       

3. I wish for new clothes for Gabe Saporta, so he can stop wearing the damn purple hoodie.

                                           

4. I wish for Fall Out Boy to tour again in ’08, so my friend Sue can go see them because she was sick and missed the YWT tour.

5. I wish Amy Winehouse would get addicted to fruit smoothies, fresh air and exercise instead of drugs and alcohol.

                                      

6. I wish the Lostprophets would hurry up and release the new cd they’ve been working on for an eternity.

7. I wish Jared Leto would stop closing the door on Hollywood; before you know it, Hollywood will stop knocking. Beside the big screen needs him.

                             

8. I wish Davey Havok would grow his hair long again, Pete Wentz  would cut his hair short and Joe Trohman would leave his hair the way it is.

                                    

9. and for myself, can you please have the elves whip up a set of Fall Out Boy action figures because Hot Topic doesn’t sell them anymore.

                                            

I guess that’s all I can think of. : )  Merry Christmas and have a safe trip!

Love,
Helen  xo

 
******************************************************************
Everyone, please add your wishes below and I will send them along to Santa.  ; )

 

Oh, I know they all have their finer points. But here are my picks for the crème de la crème. Superficial, yes. But I couldn’t resist. Can you?

Hair-Curly

                         

Joe Trohman-Fall Out Boy                                          Andrew Stockdale-Wolfmother
The Troh-fro has taken on a life of its own.                  To see the hair in action, check out the
                                                                                   video for Love Train.

Hair-Straight/Wavy

                           
Hayley Williams-Paramore                                          Michael Grant-Endeverafter
There's no arguing with pink (or is it                             The 80's are back!  Awesome!
orange?) hair.


Eyes

Jared Leto-30 Seconds to Mars
This was a no-brainer.

However, this photo of  Frank Iero gave me a moment's pause.
Thought I'd give him runner-up.


Nose

Gerard Way-My Chemical Romance
I think it's pert. Don't you?

Lips

William Beckett-The Academy Is...
"He's got that crooked smile."

Teeth

Pete Wentz-Fall Out Boy
Who else, I ask you?

Pecs/Abs

Anthony Keidis-Red Hot Chili Peppers
Over 40 and still fit.

Arms

Ian Watkins-Lostprophets
Don't know if he lifts anything heavier than a microphone.
Looks like he does. Nice tattoos.

Hands

Davey Havok-AFI/Blaqk Audio
Ever notice how graceful they are?
Lovely nails, too.

Hips

Gabe Saporta-Cobra Starship
And he knows how to use 'em.

Legs

Victoria Asher-Cobra Starship
I think these may be one of the only pairs
of rock star legs I've seen!

AND, for the ten or so people who will get this one,
Thighs-Patrick Stump   ; )

So those are my picks! And I can't WAIT to read your comments!!

Hi, it's me again! Unbeknownst to me I used a photo from someone named xmeredithx on my list. Credit for the pic of Joe Trohman goes to xmeredithx. Thank you!  12/5/07