I make the beats.

Do you dress in hoodies and skinny jeans?

Do you write poetry (however bad)?

Do you read a lot of Hemingway?

Do you have the Clandestine logo tattooed in the small of your back?

If you answered “yes” to these questions, you are a true believer. Welcome.

My husband was checking the e-mail the other day and noticed the order confirmation from Invisible Children.

“What’s this?” he demanded.

“Oh, it’s this charity that tries to help the people of Uganda. Pete told us to support it.”

“If Pete told you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it?”

“Hmm, can you give me a minute on that?”

It’s a good thing Pete doesn’t have evil schemes. He might say something like this:

“Okay, people. Everybody grab a pitchfork and get on the bus!  Next stop, Rush Limbaugh’s house!  After that, Koolaid for everyone!”

“Yes...master...”

dear FBI: Please don’t hunt me down. It was just a joke!  : D

 *these are bona fide lyrics, mostly from my son’s head because I read the lyrics right away.  I’m that boring.

1. “The sea queen is never in. We are the plague on a sinking ship.”

  (really “They say quitters never win, etc.)

2. “Heavy Alice Pepper is a faker every day.” 

(really “Hand behind this pen relives a failure every day.”)

3. “collecting paychecks, lovers”

 (really “collecting page 6 lovers”)

4. “You are a getaway car that Chaputanee had.”

 (really “You are a getaway car, a rush of blood to the head.”)

5. “I can’t take your problems away if they’re not in the way of my head.”

(really “I can take your problems away with a nod and a wave of my hand.”)

One from MCR

“And though you’re Hurricane Katrina, your memory will carry on.”

(really “and though you’re dead and gone, believe me...”)

Please add your own in the comments.  : D

Matt had always listened to music with headphones while working on the computer. Recently, he decided to get his ears checked, and discovered that after years of listening to loud music, his hearing is fine and dandy. So after his doctor visit he continues to listen to music while working, but NOT using the headphones. I point out, “Why don’t you put the headphones back on, your hearing is fine.”  “Because I think the music has caused this ringing in my ears,” he replies.

Oh, pshaw, ringing.  I’ve had ringing in my ears for years. It’s like an old friend. In fact, I don’t know but that I would miss it if it ever stopped. If I listen closely it plays music for me. Listen, I think I just heard a G. Now it went down to an E. And now a C. It sounds just like the beginning of  “Pinball Wizard.”

(My know-it-all son says, “Those aren’t the opening notes of Pinball Wizard.” grr)

We were listening to a Lostprophets song called “Everyday Combat.” After a bout of Ian’s screaming,  I said to my son, “What do they have to be angry about? They’re from Wales.”  And Shane goes, “Maybe they’re angry about the healthcare system.” 

Hm.  I guess he  DOES listen when his father rants about “issues.”